Curmudgeon Corner – Thoughts on Campaign Announcements

My Thoughts for April 12, 2015   

Call me a curmudgeon if you want, but all this ink that is devoted to who’s running for president and who’s not running is making me really grouchy.  On the Republican side is a field of candidates the size of a football team.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t decide who the team captain is.  Jeb Bush is reported to have the most money, does that make him the captain.  Here are some news headlines about the man: “Jeb Bush Reaffirms He Does Not Support Marriage Equality”; “Jeb Bush: Replace Obamacare”; “Jeb Bush Won’t Talk About Wars His Brother Started”.  The list could go on, but you get the point. The press is taking all these shots at Jeb and he hasn’t been elected team captain, yet. 

Back in January, in Des Moines, Iowa, a bunch of Republican frontrunners got together to bash Hillary Clinton and tell everyone in attendance what the party needs to do in order to win the 2016 elections.  New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was there telling everyone the party needs crossover appeal and that he can get the Hispanic vote.  Plus, he claimed that independent voters like his direct, tale-no-prisoners style.  Then he took his 300+ pounds self home to defend himself in the Bridge Gate suit being brought against him. 

Mitt Romney was there, looking like his usual self; so boring that he makes a bottle of valium look exciting.  Mitt, do everyone a favor, stay home.

Donald Trump was there.  He had nothing good to say about anyone.  He ripped into Romney, calling Mitt a loser.  Jeb, he said, causes concerns about his immigration and education policies.  Like New York has a great education policy. Give me a break.  I just wonder how long it would take him to answer that 3:00AM call if he were to get elected.  My thinking is as long as it would take him to comb that head of hair he has. 

Senator Ted Cruz was there.  He was asked about his feeling towards a Mitt Romney ticket.  His answer baffled me; does Mitt paint?  Cruz said the Republican candidate needs to be a person that is “able to paint in bold colors, not pastels.”  I thinks that’s political speak for “Mitt’s boring.” In any case, I’m sure Mitt doesn’t paint.  He doesn’t like to get his hands dirty.

Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee was there, also.  He ran in 2008 but lost to Senator John McCain early in the nomination process.  That says enough about old Mike.  No sense in piling on. 

Oh, both Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker and Texas Governor Rick Perry were there.  Perry won’t make captain of the team because in the last game he fumbled the ball.  Scott Walker might have a chance.  He dumped on the union in his state, not knowing that union workers usually turn out strong when voting in the presidential elections.  Of course, by the 2016 elections there probably won’t be that many blue collars workers in Wisconsin. 

I couldn’t find out if Rand Paul attended this gathering of jingoists, but this week he announced his candidacy for president.  His plan is to “take back our country.”  Good grief, take back our country from who? From a congress that is dysfunctional, from a Supreme Court making it difficult to vote and allowing corporation to spend unlimited funds on the presidential elections. Or, maybe he meant from the Department of Education, from Arnie Duncan who seems to be screwing up a lot of school districts.  Paul is so extreme that even his republican teammates can’t decide if he would make a good team captain.

Meanwhile, the other team, you know, the Democrats. They’re patiently waiting for the coquette of the team to announce her plan for their team, of which by all accounts, she seems to have the team well in hand.  The 2016 election year will be interesting and scary all at the same time.  But I truly believe that the American voters still have the country and nobody is going to take it from them, Rand Paul.

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